'The Flower, the Woman'
Naturally, we have to start with the first ever painting. This is the painting that started Kroma, and started my love and interest for botanical paintings.
In a state of re-finding myself as an artist after a creative burnout, where I completely scrapped my old art style of geometric animal portraits, I was in a desperate need for finding my style quickly because, in the nature of your early 20s, the ticking time bomb of 'you need to make something of yourself' and 'your going to be behind' wouldnt allow me to not having something that would make me a 'somebody' (as if i'm not a person outside of my profession).
My breakthrough was thrilling because it made me realise I wanted to make something with more substance and that I could become the exact type of artist i wanted to become by doing things my way - i gained a lot of faith in growing authentically and not relying on all the things I dont like doing e.g. posting 3 videos everyday on all social medias.
I spend the next month or so experimenting loads with different styles, taking a real liking to abstract paintings. In the midst of experimenting, I also copied the art of other artists to try and learn new ways of painting, and Kroma was born when I tried to imitate this painting by Carmelo Blandino
@carmeloblandinoart - Carmelo Blandino
Whilst getting the base marks down, very loosely, I grew to really like the state of the painting in the beginning stages. I was so excited by it - I decided to add highlights and keep it as it is. The end product was so fascinating to me, i rarely worked so loosely, and the fact that such minimal strokes still was able to make it clear what the subject was surprised me! I wanted to make more, I feel in love with painting casually and let the brush and colour do the work.
I sat with it when it was finished and sat with what I felt, because the colour combination made my synesthesia go crazyyyy - so i sat with it and thought about what do these two colours mean to me? What do I think of? What do I see?
I saw maturity, i felt grown. It felt like certainty. The muted green with the with the bright pink, which with other colours might have felt very loud and quite playful, here it feels certain. The type when you own all the parts of you. That's what I've been feeling lately as I gradually find different parts of myself, that the real confidence in the woman that I am is simply claiming all the parts of me that make me- me. All the parts that in certain situations felt too loud, too girly, too cringe and too unseen are now parts I am very proud to have and purposely carry everywhere I go, because I love them even if others dont. And that lesson took me a while to learn, as a retiring people pleaser, the world was dictated by other. So to finally take my life and my body into my hands, it was strange, because I didnt really know who I was outside of what people made me to be.
But as i later found out, it makes it that much more fun, because I can myself into whoever I want to be, even if I'm not that person just yet. That's what this painting made me feel, the sense of wholeness - not complete, I dont think i'll ever be complete in this life where I'll constantly be changing and evolving. But all the parts of myself that I currently have, I claim them fully. I really like myself. All the dull and all the bright parts of me. I really like them. And that feeling makes me feel really proud and really grown.
The woman I blossomed into :) (I had to say it, i'm sorryyyy)
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